1. "You are going to breast feed, RIGHT?!" This is the one that pissed me off the most out of anything on this list. I understand, breast feeding is great for some people. I get it. But the fact that you are trying to change my mind after I've made my decision is GOD DAMN ANNOYING! There's nothing more in the world than for someone to try and change my mind about something. Especially something of this subject matter. I do not lecture you on how to raise your damn kid so do not, I repeat DO NOT, try and tell me how to raise mine. My child will not grow a third ear or and extra belly button from me giving her formula that has evolved so much that they say it is so similar to breast milk. My child is still going to get the nutrients she needs to be healthy. And the other thing I will add to this, what if I tried to breats feed and I couldn't would I still be a bad mom? Sheesh man, give me a break.
3. "You are pregnant?" I was not happy with this response when telling people I was pregnant. I literally barely showed (and I swear I'm not kidding) until two days before I pushed this sucker out. From the front and from the back you could not tell I was pregnant and from the side you could tell my 8th month. I was a waitress and worked until I was 3 days passed my due date. As the days got closer I had to put my hand on my stomach as I walked around so people would get the idea.
4. "Relax" You really do need time to just lay down and relax. I finished college and worked while I was pregnant which didn't leave me much time, but I tried my best.
5. "I hope the father sticks around" Let me just leave this one along before I get fired up...
6. "You are going to crave everything, your feet will swell, and you are going to be so irritable" Well that made my day, thank you so much. *sarcasm* These are the things that come with being pregnant, but don't bring me down about it. My feet did not swell, I only craved chcolate glazed munchkins, and coke with crushed ice during the last month of my pregnancy. Nothing weird. And I was not THAT irritable. I did not flip out or act crazy for no reason. I did, however, cry. Mostly post pregnancy, but I cried, a lot, with my nose running, and being short of breath.
7. "Don't worry about little things" I wish someone did tell me this. The color of the baby's room, having 15 bottles, toys... ect. All that stuff is not a demand right away. The baby sleeps in your room for at least the first month, they can't play with toys for the first couple months, I had TWO bottles and it was fine. Babies don't have high expectations so you don't have to worry if their room isn't finished or if you haven't baby proofed completely, or if you are just so damn tired that the dishes have been sitting there and your not sure if the chicken that is in the fridge is even good anymore.
8. "You are carrying high, you are absolutely having a boy" This is a myth. I don't know how many times I have to tell people. I carried high and I had a girl. I also did not get "ugly" because I had a girl either.
9. "Did you plan on having a child?" Did I choose to have sex? Did I choose not use protection? Did I understand how the human reproductive system work? Go F yourself and your stupid question
10. "Are you going to get an epidural?" Is pain relief bad or something? Did I miss the memo that if you get an epidural you are labeled as a bad mother? When you squeeze a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lemon with no pain relief then come talk to me. Until then, do not judge my decisions.
11. "Why did you choose THAT name? I don't like that." Oh I'm sorry. Let me change the name of my baby because you have an opinion about my choices. I didn't realize you helped make this baby
12. "How long have you been married?" I'm pretty sure that's none of your business. You don't need to be married to have a child just saying. Don't just assume and then judge me if we aren't.
13. "I hope you don't get stretch marks" As if I'm not worried enough about them, let's feed the fire. I did get a few, but they arent bad. My boyfriend sent me a picture similar to the one below and laughed. I told him if he sent that to me while I was pregnant we probably would have had a funeral before the babyshower.
15. "Why are you even crying" You think if I knew I would do something about it?
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